Earlier this week, I had two casual meetings with soon-to-be graduates of my alma mater. It was a Spring Break program designed to have students interact 1:1 with alumni. Despite no clear agenda, there were undeniable similarities between both conversations. We spoke candidly about gender discrepancies in business, and financial tips when starting a new job. It was a stark reminder of how important it is to have a network of friends to compare financial notes.
Today’s post is inspired by Mama Fish Saves and #WomenRockMoney. All you wonderful ladies out there, let’s break the status quo. Gents, there are women in your life who can use encouragement and support. Take note, and take action.
I graduated with $35K in student debt and no clear guidance on how to get rid of it. While there were many factors that made a big difference toward my eventual payoff, increasing my income in a short period of time was a huge factor. Without a circle of friends to help me recognize what was normal for my career and finances, I’m convinced that paying off my debt would’ve taken me much longer.
There’s nothing as empowering as a group of like-minded individuals who can help you set and benchmark your goals. The right people can inspire you to reach farther than even you thought possible. Here’s how I stumbled into my crew, four years ago:
Introducing: Jane’s #WomenRockMoney Circle
Note: For the sake of anonymity, each lady in my circle has been renamed as a Sex and the City character. I’ve never watched the show and character assignments were random, so the show character is not intended to reflect upon the actual person being mentioned.
Carrie: I Aspired To Be Her
Carrie was a year ahead of me. She had the most valuable insight into how to negotiate and what type of salary to expect; she had already paved the way by collecting data from other coworkers on salary by title and high/low raise ranges. Without her, there would’ve been no crew; Carrie was the key source of data for all of us as we navigated our entry-level positions.
Samantha: We Compared Notes
Samantha and I started out as analysts at the same time; we actively compared best credit card offers, how to use Mint, and all sorts of entry-level financial activities. We didn’t compete against each other, but rather kept each other on track towards important milestones. With Samantha there, I never felt like I was falling behind on anything; having someone else there discovering information at the same pace kept me from getting discouraged.
Charlotte: We Learned Together
Charlotte and I were friends, classmates, and roommates more than we were ever coworkers (spoiler: this is the only person here with whom I am still extremely close with today). Because we were close before working together, we could candidly discuss the nitty-gritty of our finances without discomfort. We compared our budget and cost of living numbers, and actively discussed our interview experiences.
Miranda: Her Greed Motivated Me
Miranda taught me to be more selfish about my growth and development. She soaked up information like a sponge but was never willing to share her own. When all of us started interviewing for new positions, Miranda always wanted to hear how our calls went, what salary ranges we were looking for, but was unwilling to tell us about her experiences. At the time, I found it frustrating; in hindsight, it’s a reminder for me to get a little greedy towards what I want.
Each lady played an important role in getting my ass in gear.
This is the look of “Ummm, why aren’t you taking action yet?”
Jane’s Present Day Circle
Since starting Cash Fasting, things have changed. It’s like a barrier has been broken with most of my friends; they understand that financial matters aren’t taboo for me and that I don’t hoard my knowledge. I love discussing personal finance, career development, and anything money-related with people. In response, friends have unexpectedly opened up and asked questions. Today, my circle looks more like a giant blob. That’s what the personal finance blogger network is, and that’s what Mama Fish Saves has created with the #WomenRockMoney community.
Find your circle, because you don’t know what you don’t know. Keep it female-only or make it mixed gendered; it doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that you find people who can support your goals in a positive way.
How do you plan on improving your financial knowledge this year? Comment below, or join the discussion on social with the tag #WomenRockMoney.
Comments
I love that you can acknowledge know that even a relationship was one sided, it still taught you something about money. Growing up, I had lots of examples of what not to do with money from women in my life (but they didn’t know any better and didn’t have better role models). Now, I have the benefit of the amazing personal finance world I’ve found myself to be semi part of. This year, I’d like to get over some self-limiting beliefs I have about money.
I can definitely appreciate that I had both positive and negative examples to learn from. The positive role models set great examples of what I should do, while the greedier friend motivated me to be more transparent (and TBH, when I was feeling down, I treated it like a competition).
We have the same goal – I know I self-limit too, but it can be hard to break away from that.
Wow way to take a negative relationship and turn it into an opportunity to learn something. Since I don’t have a huge circle of friends IRL, I’m especially thankful for the amazing personal finance community!
Also that last gif is one of my favorite things on the internet ever.
Yes, discovering the online personal finance community was a huge eye-opener for me. That said, there can be a lot to sort through since there’s just so much commentary out there. I find having a circle beneficial in that we discussed things that we were all actively working on, so it was constantly relevant.
It is a perfect gif 🙂
I’ve had some similar experiences with friends – I felt really uncomfortable talking about money with one friend as I knew she was comparing herself. This made me secretive when I’m not usually! I’ve made it a point this year to surround myself with people who are comfortable talking about – and growing – their money 🙂 Great post and I agree it’s super important to find your circle!
It really does make a huge difference! Good on you for finding the right people to surround yourself with.
I definitely think I have really supportive people in my real life and my virtual life. I’m just trying to get the IRL people to talk money more. Even if it’s just about MY money (because it’s easier to critique someone than dish your own details, I think!). Loved this post, Jane!
Thanks, Penny! I also find that opening up about my money is the easiest way to get people talking IRL.
This is great advice! My college friends have leaned on each other as we’re climbing the career ladder to compare salaries, ask for raises, and negotiate for better jobs. Overcoming the taboo nature of money with some ladies in a similar professional place has been so helpful.
Yes! It really does make a world of difference. 🙂
Having a few long term friends in the same general field has me has been SO important – it’s conversations with a couple of them that finally got me to get prepared to ask for a raise for the first time this past year.
Yay! Discussing with friends is a surprisingly powerful tool for improving finances 🙂