This is my first week back as a full-time employee after five stressful, blissful, wonderful months of unemployment, part-time, and contract working. As I write this, I’ve officially completed my first five days, and it’s been a whirlwind.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting transitioning back to a full-time schedule, but I also am not quite sure of what I want.
I took this job because I wanted benefits again (health insurance can be scary), but also I missed having a high income. While I earned a six-figure salary for most of 2018, three months of unemployment at the end of the year meant my true income for 2018 was well below 100,000.
Related: Yes, I am Financially Privileged
It’s only been a few days; I can’t be too quick to judge. However, I can already feel a sense of unrest rising.
Laziness, or Something Else?
I didn’t have to worry about money during my unemployment. I had one month of severance, a side hustle that could cover absolute emergencies, and, at the end of the year, a part-time contracting gig that paid extremely well. Is this why I can feel full-time resentment building? After all, unemployment for me wasn’t really unemployment, and I didn’t actually feel the worry that so many do after a layoff.
Or maybe I’m still burnt out. The job I held briefly in Fall 2018 was incredibly intense. One month into the job, I knew I wouldn’t last six. I didn’t want to last six. When the New York office was shut down, I was relieved. In retrospect, the $20K bump in salary and the nice title wasn’t worth it. Since that job, I’ve been somewhat listless. My career goals no longer feel defined (wait, do they still exist?🤔).
I don’t have the answer. Perhaps what I’m craving is the freedom of working hours with lots of pay. That’s what I got a taste of, but it was too good to last (and I know that). And before my contact page fills up, no, this does not make me ripe for MLM-scooping.
I know I still have to work hard, and that I’m not leaving the world of time in exchange for money anytime soon.
This Isn’t A Cry Against Full-Time Work
The majority of us need to work 40+ hours a week to pay the bills, save money, and cover otherwise unmanageable costs like medical and dental insurance. I am one of those people. Dreaming that I only have to work 10 hours a week is just that; a dream. (At least for now.)
Something I also learned during my five months away from being full-time: I need a job to feel engaged. While it’s nice to owe time to no one, I’m not good about being productive for myself when I have all the time in the world. So yes, I work better when I’ve only got nights and weekends to work on my projects, rather than all day. (Admittedly, I’ve always thrived as a procrastinator.)
The benefits of full-time work are too great for me to ignore. Sure, I’m only one week into my new job, and it sucks to be the most clueless person in the room. That will improve over time, and I will become effective at my job. Until then, I’ll probably be daydreaming of walking out. 😝
I’m Here To Make Money
This is the first time I’ve ever worked for an employer where I was truly excited about a product. However, I don’t get to work on it for maybe six months, and what I’m working on now is not interesting to me. That said, I’m being exposed to a new industry, with a new set of data challenges (I work in Analytics).
In the meantime, I’m here for the dollar bills. At this current stage of my life, a full-time job is the fastest way for me to save, build my net worth, and reach my financial goals.
Let me go into that a little bit more. I am not quite 5 years into my working career. I have minimal entrepreneurship experience (and a wavering desire to change that). Side hustles for me are through opportunities snatched, not choices desired. Sure, I’ve always dreamed of becoming an author, but at the moment that’s not something I’m actively pursuing. At this
My side hustle netted me $5K in post-tax income last year. For what was probably no more than 50 hours of work, that’s FANTASTIC. But that pales in comparison to how much I can save on a regular paycheck. If I include retirement savings, I can save $5K in just two months working full-time. For now, I want to make the most out of my time and ability to build up wealth.
A Little More Traditional
I’m in my late 20s. I’m unmarried (until next year), have no dependents, and can generally focus on how my career/income opportunities will develop for the rest of my life. Sometimes it can take money to make money, so I’m not about to rage quit the job I’ve just started; I need to instead save up as much as possible. With a wedding and a house purchase on the horizon, this job is going to make a lot of my big ticket dreams possible.
When I started my blogging journey in 2016, I had a goal of reaching FIRE in roughly 10 years. Now, I’m starting to question that. Not because the monetary goal is too difficult to reach, but rather, whether I can adapt to an RE life while I’m still so young. This post for me has been more of a thought starter and not anything finite, but I think my financial goals are going to shift away from FIRE this year. Yes, I still value financial independence, but whether I want to retire early? To be determined…
Comments
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Jane! Starting something new is not always easier, but I think you will soon learn the ropes and get to work on something that excites you. After all, you’re interested in the company and the product, so keep going!
I recently went through a midlife crisis (and I still am, I think). Then I found something I like to work on, and it makes me feel hopeful again. Maybe you just need something that really clicks.
I agree with you, staying at your job is probably the best move right now when you learn new skills and find something you are more passionate about. You got this!
Thanks, Ms. FAF 🙂
Am I in the minority for thinking that finding a job that “really clicks” is a luxury? I’m practical enough to realize that I don’t know what it is I want long term and realistic enough to also recognize that I have many many years to figure that out. The last month (since I wrote this post) has really flown by, and thankfully I’m feeling more confident at work, but the overarching thought around slugging it through for a paycheck so far is still prevailing. I know as I become more accustomed to the work (and more competent), it’ll improve.
The RE lifestyle isn’t necessarily for everyone. I’ve been thinking and wondering more lately whether the lifestyle I have in mind for my RE years will leave me fulfilled or not.
I think it’s all about finding that balance between meaningful work, and relaxation and other things you want to do. Part time/contractor work may be the answer, but I guess we’ll see!
As appealing as RE sounds, you’re right—it’s not necessarily fulfilling in practice. I have plenty of time to figure that out, as well as experiment with various solutions. Honestly, that might be the part I’m most looking forward to 😀
Yeah, I have the same fears about an early retired life—I absolutely need motivation to get my lazy self to do anything “productive.” I’ll have to keep an eye on that in my RE life, but it’s also going to be a while before I get there. I’d love to have a glide path where I work part time for a while and see how that goes.
You wanna trade jobs though? I’m similarly floundering at work but I also don’t make $5k period in two months so I’ll totally switch with you haha!
If you get more fulfillment out of your job than I do mine, I’d consider it heh.
The frustrating thing is now that I’ve reached a point where I can save that much in a relatively small time frame, it takes larger magnitudes of money wins to get the same financial satisfaction that I used it. It’s financial success scope creep, people!
(My real secret though is my low cost of living combined with an NYC salary. I wouldn’t save this much in any other city.)
I think if you like the product, I’m sure you’ll love when you move to your actual role!
I completely agree with your decision and the rationale behind it. It would make sense to save as much as we can when we are young and don’t have the responsibilities. This saved fund has a great chance of compounding.
Good luck with the future.
Thanks, Apurva!
Waiting for compounding interest is like “hurry up and wait”. Years from now I’m going to be so glad I made this decision; but for now, it’s hard to measure the impact it’s having. I’m looking forward to growing in my role (and liking it more).